People Say I’m Brave to Be Traveling Alone
Dayton, Ohio
Betty was cheerfully working the front desk at the downtown Fairfield Inn where I was staying. She was tall, with short, gray hair. I had some questions about their loyalty program, but she said I would have to call customer service. She was, however, very excited for me and my upcoming new Lifetime Platinum status with Marriott. She wanted to know where I’d traveled.
“Oh, everywhere. There was a time when I traveled three weeks out of every month for work. I retired in January. I sold my house in May and now I’m traveling for a while.”
Her whole being lit up with excitement. “That’s so wonderful!”
“I have the rest of the year mapped out. I’m on my way to West Virginia. Then a few weeks in Maine. Then back to Texas. I want to go to Europe this fall, and then end the year in Japan.”
“You’re traveling all by yourself?”
“Yes.”
“You’re so brave. I would love to do that but I can’t even go to the movie theater by myself. I tried going out to eat alone and I was too uncomfortable.”
I didn’t tell Betty how much I’ve come to love traveling alone. I like the uncomplicated, flexible pace and choosing exactly when and how I want to travel. How much money to spend. When to splurge and when to save. Changing the schedule, just because I feel like it. Of course, there are experiences I’d love to share with family and friends. And I start to get impatient to see familiar faces when I’m away for too long. But in general, it’s all good.
I’ve heard “you’re so brave” many times. I used to think it was all about safety and security. I have friends who worry about accidents, illness, terrorism, and natural disasters. I thought the “brave” idea was all about physical safety. I try to be smart, plan well, and know what I’m getting into. And fortunately, my parents instilled a sense that everything will be okay. Mom never asked us to call to say we’d arrived safely. She just assumed we would. And, therefore, so did I.
But lately I’ve come to believe people think it takes bravery just to be alone. They don’t understand how you can travel solo and not be unbearably lonely. I’ve been trying to figure out why I’m okay with being alone for long stretches. Here are a few thoughts:
1. I have a great base of support. I know people I love are there for me, care about me, and are available when I need them. It took a lifetime to build strong relationships, and I don’t take them for granted.
2. I don’t give much thought to what strangers might be thinking. Women who can’t go to dinner or the theater by themselves are imagining others are saying “Look at that poor woman sitting there by herself.” In reality, everyone is caught up in their own business and you aren’t more than a passing glance to them.
3. I’m comfortable talking to strangers. I’ve met really interesting people throughout my travels. Almost all of them have been kind and helpful.
4. I know if I waited around to coordinate schedules with someone, I’d only do a fraction of the things I want to do.
Again, I didn’t tell Betty all of that. When she said she’d like to travel, I just said, “I hope you do.”
Tips & Recommendations
Early in my career, I traveled to Dayton once a month to our division office from the Pittsburgh area. The downtown Fairfield Inn may seem like an odd choice for a quick overnight stay, but the staff is excellent and the adjacent parking garage feels fairly well protected and safe. I have fond memories of my times in Dayton.
Places I’ve enjoyed over the years:
National Museum of the Air Force
Coco’s Bistro – restaurant